The Polar Bear Express.
A Friday newsletter with so much peppermint, Bruce Willis might sing about it.
Dear agency readers, hippopotamus song lovers and anybody who just needs a shot to make it to Christmas.
Welcome to the last shot of the year. Yep. That’s right. The next newsletter you will be getting from me will be on the 24th just in time for Christmas. Because everyone wants to be reading newsletters on Christmas Eve
Now, you know what would be great for Christmas Eve? To be pouring cocktails from François‑Xavier Lalanne’s absolutely bonkers Hippopotame Bar. Look. At. It.
This would be the perfect agency drink hippo cart. And it just sold for $31.4 million. So this would be wonderful in the Omnicom offices. The whole thing brings new meaning to the worst Christmas song of all time, 1953’s “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” by Gayla Peevey.
Don’t come at me. It is the worst. So bad that we have to do a few of these shots. This is a bit of a modified polar bear with the kick of an Espresso Martini.
The Drink Cart Polar Bear Express
1/4 oz peppermint schnapps
1/4 oz baileys
1/2 oz Kahlúa
1/2 oz chilled espresso
Shake with ice and pour.
Take three of these and you won’t even care that you have to do your timesheets for the last three months.
1. Ad History: Norelco (1976)
Norelco. Noelco. Get it. “Even our name says Merry Christmas.” And can we talk about how Santa is absolutely shredding the slopes on that razor.
2. Ad History: Miller High Life Christmas (1977)
If this “Christmas Card” from The High Life doesn’t make you want to wash down a 12 pack on Christmas Eve, you’re not Christmasing right. This was vibes before vibes.
3. Stick to the back roads.
You had me at: “This traveler’s advisory is brought to you by the people who make Ranger Rovers.”
4. Alert: The gambling brands have found AI.
“It’s beginning to look at lot like slop-mas.” We’re doomed.
5. Still nothing Like these Bruce Willis Wine Cooler ads.
Imagine the scene at the agency for this iconic spot:
STRATEGIST: Seagram’s wants something fresh. Something that says “fun” and “cool” and “buy this wine cooler.”
ART DIRECTOR: So we’re thinking... beach scene? Maybe some volleyball? Bruce in a linen shirt, unbuttoned?
STRATEGIST: That’s all fine. But what’s the hook. We need something memorable.
COPYWRITER: What if...and hear me out...what if Bruce sings?
Silence.
STRATEGIST: Sings?
ART DIRECTOR: That’s either the worst idea I’ve ever heard...or it’s absolutely insane enough to work.
COPYWRITER: We’re just asking an action star to basically do a music video. For wine coolers.
CREATIVE DIRECTOR: America is going to eat this up.
FADE OUT.
And don’t worry your little chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Bruce made a Wine Cooler Christmas ad:
PS: Here’s a bonus scene from 1957’s Desk Set and what looks to be the perfect vibe for an office Christmas Party despite no hippopotamus bar cart in sight.
Thanks for reading. Happy Holidays. See you next week for some of our favourite things of the year.
Jackson.
The Drink Cart Friday Shot is your late Friday pick-me-up for pop culture brains and ad junkies. A fast pour of ad insights and hot takes, served like a quick round at your favourite dive bar after a week of client feedback.