The Drink Cart: Vapour Chambers Edition

The only ad newsletter not powered by a vapour chamber, not typed in 48-megapixel Fusion font and never once cooled by cosmic orange copywriting.

Dear marketing fans, anyone still trying to make sense of social media in 2025 and advertisers engaged in a marketing copy arms race.

Before we enter into Halloween or even Canadian Thanksgiving, we have had the big Apple iPhone 17 launch event. Let’s just say that how they are doing the giant PRO text in this header is the craziest type Apple has ever done. And it’s orange too - cosmic orange to be exact.

Now the thing about new Apple launches is the over the top copy. I didn’t know I needed a “heat-forged aluminum unibody” phone before, but now I probably can’t go through the rest of 2025 without it and that’s what Mr. Apple Copywriter is telling me by adding this into the headline: “Makes a strong case for itself.” The 17’s regular line is simply “Magichromatic”

Interesting I was with those who scratched there heads when they made such a big deal with the phones being made with Titanium just 2 years ago. As one person pointed out, “The tagline for iPhone 15 Pro was literally ‘Titanium’...” Thats how you have to differentiate when the phones are basically not that different year after year.

Same goes for the “Vapour chamber”. You’re telling me that my phone hasn’t been vapour cooled until now? I’m outraged. “All 48 MP Fusion rear cameras” raises more questions than it answers. A Fusion camera? Sounds like something between a microwave and a blender—or maybe a flux capacitor. Apple has turned spec sheets into arms race poetry. That is the trick to Apple copywriting 101. Inflate every possible feature into something that feels like a tech arms race.

The line about cameras on the base 17 is equally Apple-y. “18MP Center Stage front camera. It’s a total frame changer.” The rear camera dropped this word salad, “An evolution in resolution.” And on Air, they included this, “New front. New rear.
New cam-era.”

The one thing I don’t get is the lanyard. Sorry in Apple-speak it’s a delightful crossbody strap. “Get carried away. Pair the new Crossbody Strap with Apple Silicone Cases and wear your iPhone everywhere you go, hands-free.”

I can’t wait for iPhone 18 when they announce “molten-core emoji rendering lanyard” and make it sound must have.

Two little bits of data that I can’t seen to get out of my head.

Both of the are from Rachel Karten, who I know everyone reads. But the details in her work is what drives my mind. I know that Wimbeldon was so long ago we’ve already finished the US Open, but these numbers about what the six weeks felt like for the social team at Wimbledon is shocking. This is the break down:

In six weeks, the Wimbledon social team produced nearly 6,000 posts, 144 million engagements, 2.7 billion video views, and 2.3 million new followers. Those aren’t just stats, that’s a sports tournament doubling as a content farm with strawberries and cream.

The next one was that Netflix has over 550+ social media handles across 17 platforms. I can only image how you would even begin to describe that media to people who worked in a world where there was print, TV and radio and that’s about it.

The wildest part? People spend serious time DMing Netflix. For decades brands built walls to keep you out, and now Netflix is handing out keys to the inbox like a block party.

So whether you’re vapor-cooling your phone, running a tennis tournament that doubles as a TikTok factory, or answering DMs from 550 handles, remember: copy, content and connection are still the only game that matters.

Drink Cart Approved™ agency discussion topics

• I love seeing when brands all stumble on the same thing all at once.

• A fan saved a bottle McJordan BBQ sauce from a promotion in 1992 and sold in 2012 for $9,995. There’s another one up for grabs now listed at just $6,000. You in? Discuss.

• This Nike Opposites Attack projection is great.

• I sure would like to tap into this Texas city rebrand business. The $1M Austin logo redesign is not going well. I guess no better or worse than the comical amount of logos from YTV.

• The Old PC Party Logo from the 80s had no business looking this good.

Ad History Carling Gold (2001)

This is the kind of ad that never misses. You crash land on a desert island, a lovable crab points you toward the buried treasure, and the treasure happens to be a beer fridge. That’s advertising boiled down to its purest form: creature, gag, pint.

Louisiana hot and handmade

In a digital world obsessed with pixel-perfect templates and algorithmic polish, Louisiana Hot Sauce is showing up with brushstrokes and imperfections. These ads are literally painted by hand—sign painter Ed Bennett turning social posts into art. The colors bleed, the letters wobble and the voice bites with humour that feels alive: “Hot enough. Just like you.” or “Hot, but without the emotional baggage.”

This is the opposite play to AI’s sterile symmetry. Instead of smooth gradients and generative sameness, you get grit, texture and human fingerprints. The kind of thing that makes you stop scrolling because it doesn’t feel like it was made for the feed, it feels like it was made for you. Sometimes the hottest thing is a post that still smells like paint.

Long ads rule

Fact. It’s not weird as a copywriter to make a poster that is literally just a list of chicken products. That’s the whole point. This Waitrose board stacks line after line of every item that meets Better Chicken standards, a wall of poultry that spills onto the pavement. It’s a flex in volume and in values: showing just how many products pass the test without a single glossy food shot.

The craft is in the excess. What should read like fine print is blown up into the hero, turning product copy into public art. And credit where it’s due: this was the work of James Rafter, Senior Creative at Wonderhood Studios.

Before they were stars

In 1980 Jeff Daniels and Denzel Washington acted the shit out of a Pabst Blue Ribbon ad. Yes, before The Newsroom speeches and Training Day monologues, they were selling cheap beer with more gravitas than the script deserved. It’s the kind of casting twist that makes you rethink every throwaway spot you’ve ever skipped—two future Oscar-level actors delivering lines about America’s beer like it was Shakespeare in a can.

Last call: The Drink Cart High Horse

The High Horse is one of those drinks that feels like a wink. Born at Death & Co, it rides in with aged rum, cherry liqueur, vermouth and bitters. Think of it like a Manhattan’s eccentric cousin who read too much colonial history.

It’s rich, a little tart and maybe slightly more playful than the name suggests—less high horse, more saddle-up and stay awhile. For someone that doesn’t know what to do with the cherry liquor, this seems like a great idea. I’m not sure about the old Kirsch brandy, but let’s go with it. I’m sure most agencies have some right?

The High Horse feels like something Lin-Manuel Miranda would have slipped into Hamilton if Broadway let you drink in your seat. Washington could’ve been nursing one through One Last Time, cherry liqueur and rum standing in for gravitas and myth.

Or better, Miranda himself breaking the fourth wall with a wink—history, hip hop and cocktails all sharing the same stage. This isn’t just a drink, it’s the kind of punchline he’d rhyme into a verse, a cherry-stained reminder that legends are better when they’re a little drunk.

Here’s my take on making fall in a rocks glass:

• 1 1/2 oz aged rum

• 1/2 oz kirsch brandy

• 1/2 oz cherry liqueur

• 1/2 oz sweet vermouth

• 3 dashes Angostura bitters

---

The Drink Cart is your weekly fuel for pop culture brains and ad junkies. A cocktail of ad insights and hot takes that feel like you’re hanging at your favourite dive bar after launching your latest campaign.