The Drink Cart: Not Easy Being Jeans

The only ad newsletter written by three raccoons in a trench coat, who may or may not be moonlighting as American Eagle's crisis communications team and won't vanish in a stealth delete.

Dear marketing fans, denim doomscrollers, anyone microwaving their morals with Bounty towels, and strategists rewriting KPIs as “culture wars.”

This advertising business is pretty funny. When I started thinking about this week’s newsletter, I thought I was going to be writing about how awesome it was that Astronomer hired Chris Martin’s ex wife Gwyneth Paltrow, as their new temporary spokesperson after the Coldplay cam story. At the very least I was just hoping to throw in a bunch of Hunting Wives memes into this and call it a day.

Then American Eagle’s new campaign entered the chat.

Technically it launched last week, and immediately face-planted into a massive online culture war. Now I’m not here to say that doing “Genes vs Jeans” puns in ads is any sort of high art. But the many takes on these ads reveal everything you need to know about the state of advertising and the world today. So buckle up.

American Eagle wanted “great jeans.” What they got was a viral uproar, a massive albeit brief stock price bump, possibly selling a lot of jeans, maybe causing a boycot and the ad industry proving, yet again, that it’s forgotten how to just be chill in an era where everyone mostly hates your ads already.

One Campaign, Four Takes

I see four major reactions to this ad. Some are mild. Others went far more nuclear. Let’s break it down.

The first: Normies

If they have seen them, these ads were a meh attempt at retro sexy plays on genes and jeans cliches with some baby red flags and possibly some Dune references?

As one of my favorite writers Jonah Goldberg noted, “Not one person in a thousand says, ‘I have good genes’ to suggest that they are the culmination of a generations long breeding scheme like Paul Atreides in Dune.” Side note: I could dive into a lengthy discussion over this simple idea: House Harkonnen rules like fascists. House Atreides dresses like them. But that’s a completely different newsletter or 2 bottle wine conversation.

Talk to any normie about this ad and most people will have no idea what you are even talking about. Trust me I brought it up in conversations over the weekend and most people looked at me like I’m looking at Patrick Stewart in Dune and dropping the first of two sneaky Start Trek reference in this newsletter. You’ve been warned.

Yesterday the brand surfaced and commented, "This is yet another example of how social media is just not reflective of real life," American Eagle told TMZ. "The absurd response from some corners of the internet is absolutely not reflective of how American Eagle's customers feel." They told the reporter that 71 percent found the ad appealing.

Kind of exactly how Peter Hamby of Puck described this whole episode, “The Sydney Sweeney ad ‘backlash’ is a product of what cultural analysis has become in newsrooms: Writers lazily chewing on whatever is getting attention on TikTok. Grim.”

The second: Advertising People Hot Takes

This one starts off normal, until you realize most agency folks would nod along in a boardroom, then absolutely torch it the moment Slack opens when no one is listening. It’s giving Reese Witherspoon in Election vibes.

One X user wrote launched into it this way: “getting a blue eyed, blonde, white women and focusing your campaign around her having perfect genetics feels weird.” And Ashley, the Stuff About Advertising influencer, says the already controversial Sweeney was bound to be problematic. She doubles down and says, “all brands should stay away from Sydney Sweeney.”

And yet, no one batted an eye when she starred in a pretty similarly themed Hey Dude campaign last month. Where were the hot takes then? Meanwhile, Dunkin’ dropped a new spot also referencing genetics (were they joking?) and Arby’s is dropped another blonde provocative ad.

At this point I’m just waiting for advertising to do a postmodern reboot of the 1970s O.J. Simpson Dingo boot ads without any irony.

Adweek reports the most controversial spot was quietly deleted with zero official comment. Nothing says “creative triumph” like a stealth delete. But outrage, it turns out, converts better than pre-roll. Even Dory Ellis Garfinkle, CMO of global brand consultancy Siegel+Gale, didn’t hold back: “Rather than what the controversy is all about, what is more interesting is that a brand like American Eagle would stir controversy over an ad for denim.”

That the industry, still hungover from its Cannes own navel-gazing scandal, and clutching its pearls so tightly, about how a brand maybe violated some sort of Star Trek-esque Advertising Prime Directive and manufactured this outrage cycle? Shocking.

This is like finding out Tom Cruise is actually dating Ana De Armes to pump future box office receipts. Okay, second try. Like finding out Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry went on a date in Montreal. Damn, that happened too? Like Liam Neeson finding love again on the set of Naked Gun with Pam Anderson. Wait, that happened too?

You get the point.

The third: Unhinged Keyboard Outrage Famers

This group went deep on Tiktok, never came up for air. They believe this campaign is a full on, not-so coded, Trumpian white supremacy ad conspiracy. The kind of people who record themselves calling customer service to lecture them about the ad. Seriously, I loathe calling customer service as much as the next guy, but even they don’t deserve that.

They labeled it everything from tone-deaf to eugenics. From “fascist propaganda” to pretty much “dog-whistle Nazi marketing.” Which I did not have on my bingo card. I mean we all knew her initials are SS, right?

Worse, now people are talking about how she appropriated the Canadian tuxedo too. Forget elbows! Jeans up everyone! At this speed, the ad is going to have its own Netflix Trainwreck episode by September.

The Fourth: The Counter Unhinged Keyboard America is Backers

You know the ones in your feed. They definitely photoshopped or AI’d Trump into the jumpsuit and ad.

They are cheering on this as proof that woke is dead, that Trump has ushered in a new era of American excellence and that somehow involves appropriating Sydney Sweeney for their own and enjoying the ride as the culture war burns.

They’re not mad, they’re thrilled. This, to them, is proof that woke is finally dead. That Trump has reawakened some imaginary golden age of American greatness.

And somehow, Sydney Sweeney is now more than just part of the movement. She’s the patron saint of the algorithmic right. They’ve claimed her. And she’s riding shotgun as the culture war careens into traffic and grinning all the way.

So what’s my take?

My counter position follows the normies view in that we have worked ourselves into some completely manufactured spin on all sides over a mediocre at best jeans ad. TL; DR: As I said a few weeks back, get a life.

Will this actually become a full blown boycott of American Eagle? I honestly doubt it. Will the stores in New York and LA sell less? Probably. Will they sell more in Texas. No doubt about it. Will anyone be talking about American Eagle by August 15th? Probably only a few ad nerds.

There’s not a lick of middle ground. And that is the real issue. Nobody can win this. To me this is like the Kabayashi Maru in Star Trek - the no win scenario. (Editor: You’re dropping Dune and Star Trek references in the same newsletter? Me: Watch me!) I think a lot of brands are coming to terms that you’re not going to ever win, so you might as well just let ‘er rip.

Did I just drop a Star Trek clip into American Eagle Sweeney Jeans-gate? Yes. Yes I did.

Your jeans ad doesn’t just need to sell denim. It needs to trend, offend or ideally both. Outrage can be weaponized for clicks as the new KPI so your stupid pants aren’t collecting dust at the mall. No one was talking about American Eagle seven days ago. As this outrage fades, you can be outraged about other ads like using AI models in Vogue or whatever new thing sure to upset you next. I promise you, it never stops.

Remember, we could all just be laughing about this Gwyneth Paltrow spot and keeping the Coldplay breakup cam for another week. Or even just thinking about what McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets look like with a suntan. But we can’t have nice things. And the worst part is me having to give this one props because it has Ryan Reynold’s Tim Horton’s greasy egg bowl fingers all over it.

As these culture war flashpoints enter the ad world, there’s going to be even more places for people like Ryan Reynolds to exploit and make money off brands with counter ads and culture surfing narratives. It’s exhausting.

Drink Cart Approved™ agency discussion topics

• Here’s a nice palette cleanser from jeans-gate. This 1981 Wall Paneling ad is 100% guaranteed harmless.

• Hollywood has run out of ideas part 3,785-7. Gremlins 3 talk, New Pink Panther, Meet the Fockers 4.

• Discuss: “4pm hotel check-in and 11am check-out is one of the biggest scams in our society.”

• Things are so bad that we’re writing thought pieces defending lunch.

• I love that in 2017 someone made VHS tape giveaways that should have existed.

• I’m told that the great Amaro boom has now busted. Ugh.

Ad history: Topps (2013)

This week, baseball lost another all-time great player. Ryne Sandberg, the legendary second baseman for the Chicago Cubs has passed away at 65 after a battle with cancer. It’s funny, my group chat with a bunch of old friends joked the other week that our chat was just becoming obituaries. When you reach a certain age, that does seem to happen at an increasingly large percentage of thinking.

As I was looking for some classic baseball cards and what might be my favourite Sandberg card? So hard to choose. I think to the 86 Topps and maybe an 91 Upper Deck. Then I came across this incredible localized ad for Topps. And yes, I am back to sneaking in baseball content into this ad newsletter. Deal with it. Don’t make me drop another Star Trek reference.

The headline is perfection. Getting into that fan mindset of that one time a player sported a mustache is such a good play. The stache only lasted for 1987’s Spring Training and never returned. But made a lasting impression on collectors.

It wasn’t Ryno’s only ads. He was featured in this epic Chevy ad in 1984. And another in 1988. Although this 1988 Cubs promo pretty much summed up the man’s understated performance. When in doubt, watch this.

Related” It occurred to me how dome logos can be when you see the Wrigley Field sign honoring Sandberg and their is a super lame Toyota logo on the sign. What are we doing?

Ad History: Bounty Microwave Paper Towels (1984)

Imagine a time 41 years ago, when innovation was offering up Microwave edition paper towels in the most folksy, almost informercial sitcom kind of way.

This 60-second relic stars Nancy Walker, who held down the Rosie gig for two decades. in this ad she’s making paper towels feel like some sort space-age appliance upgrade for your “newfangled” microwave contraption.

It’s the kind of ad you don’t see anymore: a full minute, a character with personality, and the audacity to convince you that a napkin would save your microwaved sandwich. Wait, why were we microwaving sandwiches? And why don’t we do ads like this anymore?

Ad history: Gévéor (1950)

I know that feeling. You gotta get right in the bottle. I’m obsessed with this photo and the brand’s old illustrated ads too. Here’s the backstory: Back in the 1950s, a Paris wine trader called Gévéor decided to make itself impossible to miss.

The brand leaned on Hervé Morvan, the French poster artist whose work basically painted post‑war France in bold lines and playful shapes. Morvan’s ads for Gévéor turned a cheap, working‑class table wine (with high ABV, nice) into something larger than life, where bottles swallowed people whole, athletes fuelled by their pour and the now‑famous line, “le vin que l’on aime” (“the wine we love”).

Last call: The Drink Cart Meeting Room Bijou

I was looking for a cocktail that feels like the kind of drink you’d nurse while doom-scrolling outrage about jeans. Enter the slightly herbal Bijou. A mix of Gin, Green Chartreuse and sweet vermouth.

Harry Johnson, the self-declared “father of professional bartending,” dreamt up this cocktail in the 1890s and gave it the kind of name only a 19th-century bartender could get away with. Gin for diamond, vermouth for ruby and Chartreuse for emeralds. This wasn’t a cocktail it was an early mall jewelry store.

Then Prohibition came along and just killed the vibe. The Bijou disappeared while the Martini and Manhattan became ad industry favourites. That was until Dale DeGroff, the “King of Cocktails,” unearthed the recipe in the ’80s and decided the only way to make it drinkable was to triple the gin and turn the herbal chaos down a notch. Aggressive. But it’s moody, jewel-toned, and a little bitter. Kind of like the ad industry this week.

Here’s my take on the recipe:

• 1 1/2 ounces gin

• 1 ounce sweet vermouth

• 1 ounce green Chartreuse (if you manage to have some, don’t be scared)

• 2 dashes orange bitters

• Garnish with a maraschino cherry (or don’t).

• Shake with ice, strain into coupe or martini glass.

Remember: “If life seems jolly rotten. There's something you've forgotten…”

---

The Drink Cart is your weekly fuel for pop culture brains and ad junkies. A cocktail of ad insights and hot takes that feel like you’re hanging at your favourite dive bar after launching your latest campaign.