The Drink Cart: Clanker Invasion Begins

The only ad newsletter riding shotgun as a broken robot on a Wookiee’s back in Cloud City, a world rebranded by the Empire's Marketing team as a limited-edition summer beach club.

Dear marketing fans, tech doom daydreamers, Rolex loyalists live-laugh-loving through late stage capitalism, and nostalgist creatives who think Chalamet is the creative.

So we are making up slurs for AI and robots now? As NBC reports, "‘Clanker,’ a word that traces back to a Star Wars video game, has emerged in recent weeks as the internet’s favourite epithet for any kind of technology looking to replace humans.”

What I don’t get is why we’re not calling them Twikis. The ridiculous robot with a metal bowl cut from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century is a way better term. But again, I should probably leave my long winded worst robots in science fiction hot takes to some other newsletter.

The point, now that I have been side tracked on Twiki roboto lore, is: would you blame anyone for calling them names? AI is transforming things before our eyes and clogging our feeds with content. They’re out here making up body parts. Marketers are now activating robot fleets to promote movies. Grok’s spicy edition is literally grossing everyone out.

And maybe worse, over 100,000 ChatGPT items were indexed by Google. Imagine some of your most cringe questions or mean back talk to GPT being indexed and searchable. Who will be the first to get canceled for bullying a robot? The other thing about using clunker is that it very hard to reconcile when Google DeepMind is using Genie 3 to make, “interactive, playable environments from a single text prompt.”

Marketers are always first in line to exploit new tech. Over at Coke, they’ve deprogrammed their creative team to talk about the AI branding trained on their work like they are Stockholm syndrome hostages. I think it was this Instagram comment after viewing that made me thing, “The amount of disposable content brands need to create these days for all platforms make a lot of designers feel like they’re working for nothing.” The volume of content is staggering. Here’s a thought? What if we didn’t?

Speaking of Clunkers, Birdie is back. The least beloved character in the McDonaldland extended universe is back in a splashy new reboot spot. She’s got the energy of someone who claps when the plane lands, except it’s her plane. Do with that what you will.

Drink Cart Approved™ agency discussion topics

• I would watch an entire Hallmark movie with the two people in this Gant social post debating how to say croissant.

• I don’t hate these Guinness sneakers. Or when people make logos that are boats.

• I like this reframing of being an influencer (especially for hotels) and the Hermes social strategy using over 50 artists is super interesting (and sounds expensive).

• Discuss that time Carl Weathers was in an ad for Bay suits or that Yahoo still is a thing.

• Sometimes the algo has you missing fun campaigns like this one.

Ad History Rolex (1977)

These vintage ads are so freaking epic. That is all.

MF Windfarms

Only ad agencies would spend six months workshopping how to make wind farms cool and then focus more on making seaweed emotionally resonant, while getting Sam Jackson to do your heavy lifting. The fact that they are fefusing to sell the seaweed chips they spend most of the ads talking about is so typical of marketing these days. These are phoney stunt seaweed chips and i’m not going to take it, Sam Jackson or not.

The Summer of activations

There are a lot of drop dead gorgeous marketing activations going on right now. The response to the world craving real in a see of fakes and AI. Put that take in your pipe and smoke it Twiki.

There’s a wonderful Prada Capri Takeover with the the most adorable pastel boats. The iconic looking Lacoste Beach lounge. Oh the brand also has a stunning Lacoste cafe. The exclusive cafe and now hotel brand Fouquet’s has an incredible pickleball court. And we hate pickleball (almost as much as people who still play spike ball in Toronto parks).

And Hennessy dropped maybe my favourite looking photos of branded paddle boats and floating lounges for maximum summer cocktail hashtag dreams.

It’s the summer of brand world building, and honestly, we’re just happy to be floating along for the ride. Yes, even for pickleball.

Alternative finance films are having a moment.

This could be my favourite line of the year in an ad so far. “What do you want? You want a robot? You want a robot as a father?” Not if it’s a clanker or a Twiki, sir! You didn’t even need Timothy Chalamet for this film. Sure, it probably helps (and looks pretty awesome in that pitch deck). You needed those weird vegetables for sure. But the corner store owner is the real star of this film.

In OOH, we are treated to the full Chalamet. Not even a headline. Just the logo and Chalemet, as if Cash App is Nike. As a Barstool writer Tommy Smokes puts it, “I respect the hell out of this billboard. No jokes. Nobody using the product. Doesn’t even make sense really. Just the name of the company and a picture of Timothee Chalamet.” That’s point. if Ashwin says it’s good, it probably is - especially in a sea of sameness.

Meanwhile Crypto compnay Coinbase did a full on dystopian musical about the state of the financial system in the UK. And It’s closing line is strong too. “If everything’s fine. Don’t change anything.”

Now I’m no crypto is amazing guy (ever try to get paid as an agency with Crypto? It’s comically annoyingly cumbersome and ridiculous) but not sure how this ad didn’t clear TV standards (Spoiler alert: it actually wasn’t banned). But like we wrote about last week, this is just enough of a tension point to exploit and rack up millions of views online even if you don’t have Sydney Sweeney.

KFC The Obsession

Is it just me or does KFC treat Colonel Sanders like Batman? They do more reboots and origin story retelling of the man than DC Comics. At this point, he's less a founder and more a multiverse IP. He’s gritty, absurd, animated, ironic, prestige-drama coded and now sweating it out with Chef Matty Matheson in a scene that feels like The Bear but with extra grease.

And somehow, it kind of works, because in 2025, every QSR brand needs a cinematic universe, a chef cameo and a moody lighting package. Agencies can just keep re-skinning him for whatever trend is peaking in the moment.

Last call: The Drink Cart Eighties Bay Breeze

Before I get into the cocktail, I have to share a brand I came across that I’d never seen. Thanks Instagram ads.

I wasn’t sure where to go for this week’s cocktail. And then I got absolutely slammed with very mediocre booze brands on social media. It was definitely the tagline of “Deliver vibes” that set me off.

But for you, dear readers, I clicked through anyway and Mail Room Vodka served me up some of the most sanctimonious and vapid website copy I’ve seen in a long time. It’s a vodka that is, “dedicated to creating meaningful connections in today’s world. We’re not just a drink that pairs well with anything—we’re about breaking routines and bringing people together.” I’m sorry what is this vodka trying to say?

Don’t worry it goes on. “In a world often dominated by superficiality, Mailroom prioritizes authenticity, inviting everyone to share their unique stories.” Well thank god someone did it. A Vodka that prioritizes authenticity.

You can submit your story because, “By encouraging open-mindedness, Mailroom invites you to join in a collective narrative that values the richness of experience and the beauty of being real.” As you can see, Aaron from Toronto is all in, “The world is created by the lines you draw for yourself.” I recommend Aaron drink 10 more shots, give his head a shake for submitting to a Vodka website, and immedietly return to his journalling in private. Grow up.

I’ll give them this Harbite Spicy Caesar chip collab, but this brand is an easy 9 on the newly released Drink Cart Cringe-O-Meter.

Okay, back to the cocktail. With all the summery vibes in this newsletter, I wanted something super easy. You know the kind of throwback cocktail your cool aunt might have sipped in a plastic cup while flirting with a lifeguard in 1978 while poolside at a faded mid-century motel, the scent of coconut oil everywhere. Why not a Sea Breeze you ask? I can’t have grapefruit anymore, long story.

You have to remember that these cranberry based cocktails are all thanks to the clever marketing teams at Ocean Spray. They quietly shaped a generation of cocktails because without vodka, cranberry is kind of the worst juice. In the 1940s and ‘50s, the brand began printing simple vodka-cranberry recipes like the “Cape Codder” (way cooler than Vodka Cranberry) on their bottles, helping vodka-and-juice drinks like the Bay Breeze and Sea Breeze take over American bars by the ‘70s. So today’s Bay Breeze? Brought to you by a cranberry cartel with a flair for brand building.

Here’s my take on the recipe:

• 2 oz vodka

• 2 oz cranberry juice

• 2 oz pineapple juice

• Lime wedge garnish, tacky cocktail umbrella, optional

• Serve on ice in a trashy plastic Solo cup, not optional.

Pair that cranberry and pineapple concoction with with over 30 minutes of game play and 8-Bit music from the very summer video game California Games by Epyx from 1988. Just play this in the back ground and hit up a little hacky sack or what they called, foot bag. Iconic.

---

The Drink Cart is your weekly fuel for pop culture brains and ad junkies. A cocktail of ad insights and hot takes that feel like you’re hanging at your favourite dive bar after launching your latest campaign.