The Drink Cart: A Holiday Gogginsing
The only newsletter where Walton Goggins, morphing AI transitions and digital ghosts teach you everything what marketing has become.
Dear marketing fans and everyone who’s still making ads that don’t feature Walton Goggins.
We are so obsessed with AI taking over everything, we have completely left the barn door of marketing so wide open that Walton Goggins is the answer to nearly every single ad campaign.
I’m fascinated by this summary int he Ad Age article, “The entire story, this time, is built around Walmart saving Christmas. And the brand cues are threaded throughout, from Walmart-logo tree-toppers to the company’s familiar yellow-and-blue color scheme.”?
Is that really any better than just being a casual AI prompstitute? Is leaning on Walton Goggins any worse than the speed and volume of AI trends and production shaping things in real time?
Let’s break it down.
The influencers have discovered cute animals in their posts using AI.
As one of my new favourite trend watching accounts, techbimbo, notes, “hot girls have started using AI. trend i’m seeing; photo-surrealism with cute animals.” I know this is trend worthy because her post has got 26.5 million views. In a quick analysis, most followers bypass any AI-cringe reaction and seem to only be capable of responding with “cute”. The bots are winning.
Next up is crazy Morphing AI transitions.
If you’re not doing crazy hyper-speed morphing outfit changes using AI, are you even doing fashion? I’ll be honest, I have no fashion sense unless it’s baseball themed shirts count, so I asked Claude to explain this to me.
In about 3 seconds they dubbed it the “Quantum Wardrobe” Effect. And that “the AI is basically doing what we all do mentally every morning, but at hyperspeed.”
When pressed about if that was really what it was called, they caved and admitted they, “made that up on the spot. There’s no official term for it that I know of. The ‘quantum’ thing was me being cheeky because it reminded me of that whole ‘exists in multiple states at once’ concept, but applied to outfits.”
It might be the best thing Claude has shared with me. But if I’m pressed this trend is going to be in your feeds a lot between now and Christmas.
I see dead people
If you think Quantum Wardrobe effects are wild, how about turning your deceased relatives into an AI to haunt you and your family forever with a subscription price. That’s the idea of the company 2wai.
Yes, it’s exactly as unsettling as it sounds.I highly recommend checking out the comments on the video’s post. I liked this one best, “Hey so what if we just don’t do subscription-model necromancy?”
And that’s marketing this week.
Drink Cart Approved™ agency discussion topics
I love this story of hunting down the plates from Jurassic Park.
Of course Heinz is releasing leftover gravy in a squeeze bottle.
Doing great on the internet. Long winded but great story that shares that AI references a Facebook post.
Scarf Merch is out of control.
No. I don’t want to wear your sore throat branded merch, Riiiiiicola. But this week was all about scarves. Just like hiring Walton Goggins for your ads, everyone is in on them.
Farm Rich Snacks dropped a gooey mozzarella stick scarf.
“Designed to look like a golden, crispy mozzarella stick with a gooey, cheesy pull, the Mozzarella Stick Scarf is the ultimate fun foods, fashion statement – a playful reminder that cheese really does make everything better.”
How do you explain this in public? “Oh this old thing? It’s just my branded Mozzarella Stick Scarf?”
And not to be outdone, Auntie Annies, yes the pretzel company, launched their new Together Tether Scarf along with a pair of Sparkleberry Smittens and the most cringe worth Sears portrait studio shots you’ve ever seen. They didn’t even have the decency to go all in and hire Zach Woods (aka Jared from Silicon Valley) for this over a pale imitation Jared.
When in doubt, send a floppy disk
I love that the kid sent Santa a floppy disk. “Kid, get real”.
Last call: The Drink Cart’s Holiday Mule
Your Moscow Mule just got a holiday glow-up. We’re talking rye, pomegranate juice, and even a useless rosemary sprig that screams “I’m fancy but approachable.” It’s festive. It’s fizzy. It’s the drink any upcoming Friday drink cart deserves.
Here’s my take on it:
1 oz POM juice
1/2 an orange, juiced
1 oz simple syrup
1.5 oz rye or bourbon
1/2 oz fresh squeezed lime juice
Ginger beer, to top
The Drink Cart is your weekly fuel for pop culture brains and ad junkies. A cocktail of ad insights and hot takes that feel like you’re hanging at your favourite dive bar after launching your latest campaign.
Heinz Leftover Gravy is genius!