THE DOG THAT ATE TACO BELL
The only newsletter that connects a talking Chihuahua to the Second Gentleman so you can win bar trivia during a lettuce recall.
When I started thinking about this series of advertising mascots, I had the Taco Bell Chihuahua higher on the list. But there are so many good ones.
So it would be just my luck, that when it came time to write it, the company would be under the gun for a contaminated shredded iceberg lettuce outbreak. Viva Gorditas!
As a brief aside, my favourite moment in a Taco Bell was once on a trip to see the Seattle Mariners a carload of friends got an ungodly amount of cheap tacos. When they called our number I treated it like Bob Barker had just called my name on The Price is Right. I’m sure those workers were confused. This is the power of the road trip and fueled by Mr. Pibb.
Homer had to deal with the cyclops. We have to live in a time navigating Tex Mex in the world of Cyclospora. I even have a lettuce spinner currently in my amazon cart, because I’m a savage when it comes to washing lettuce. Don’t worry the chain is acting “swiftly” and “acted quickly and proactively” That’s probably the last thing I want to hear from my trash taco brand.
And if you know anything about Chihuahuas or even a Jack Russell with a drop of Chihuahua blood in it, they carry the big dog energy of a giant just like in the Odyssey. Mix it with a Jack Russell and you have yourself a very determined little jerk.
So it’s good that the last time Taco Bell needed this many lawyers, a dog was involved.
MAKE A RUN FOR THE ORIGIN STORY
Picture this. It’s 1997. Titanic ruled the box office much like Christopher Nolan’s epic does today. Beanie Baby mania was sweeping the continent. The Burger Wars were still in peak form.
This was the perfect time for America to lose its mind over a very small dog with a big attitude.
Gidget, it turns out, was born in 1994. But our story begins in June of 1996.
That’s when Taco Bell licensing manager Ed Alfaro spots Psycho Chihuahua at a New York trade show. And yes, there is a whole documented legal case over a year. Trust me, I read it. It’s as boring as you’d imagine.
In 1997 TBWA Chiat Day presented 30 different campaign ideas. One was about a talking Chihuahua. The idea according to the legal filings was a, “Chihuahua dog passing a female Chihuahua dog to get to Taco Bell food.”
The creative team of Clay Williams and Chuck Bennett described the idea coming from a time where they, as the LA Business Journal told it, “were eating soft-shell tacos at their favorite Mexican food place in Venice several months ago, a Chihuahua streaked by the window hell-bent on some mission.”
This was shortlisted, tested and then chosen as the campaign. This despite Alfaro’s warning to Taco Bell’s lawyers (imagine for a second being in house counsel at Taco Bell. That could be a Netflix show right there).
You know what happened next. Full speed ahead. First stop a regional test in the summer of
1997 and then on to over 40 ads from 1998 - 2000.
THE ERA OF YO QUIERO TACO BELL
So there it was. A completely 1990s ad. A Chihuahua walks past another dog in favor of the world’s most uninspired tacos and then says “Yo quiero Taco Bell.”
People lose their minds. About a female dog, voiced by Carlos Alazraqui doing his best impression of a mix of Peter Lorre, Ren from Ren and Stimpy and a dash of Anthony Quinn.
More catch phrases would follow. Soon enough everyone was saying, ”Drop the chalupa.” Even the guys on SportsCenter.
Then Godzilla hit theaters in 1998. And the dog showed up with a box trap and a couple of tacos. The little dog said, “here lizard lizard lizard.”
USA Today’s Ad Track gave the campaign one of the highest scores it had ever measured. 47 percent loved it. 8 percent were as wrong as the meat in a classic taco. The dog would end up flying first class, ringing the opening bell at the NYSE and playing Madison Square Garden. There was even a spot with young Johnny Knoxville.
There were talking plush dolls, bobbleheads, keychains, dogs in #23 jerseys because it was the 90s. Respect. You would squeeze the paw and get the catchphrase. It all trades on eBay now for five to twenty-five bucks, sound box still working.
So did any plush from that decade appreciate? Not a chance. Probably worse than 1990 Topps baseball cards. There is a pretty heavy after market for 1990s Taco Bell sauce however. Only $159 if you’re interested.
PLOT TWIST
Behind the Taco Narrator: The Chihuahua campaign started out as a love story between America and a dog. But now the love was a boycott and the dog was wearing... a Che Guevara beret.
A sombrero. A bandido costume. Revolutionary headwear. On a Chihuahua. Selling gorditas? Outrageous. Civil rights leader Mario Obledo called the character despicable and degrading. Taco Bell heard the criticism, took a long hard look at itself and made a lot more commercials.
But behind the scenes, a darker truth was emerging.
The dog didn’t sell tacos. America wanted the dog, but not the cheap tacos. In the second quarter of 2000, same-store sales fell 6 percent, the worst in company history. The most famous animal in the country couldn’t move a damn chalupa.
In July 2000, the Chihuahua ride was over. The campaign was dead. The agency was fired. The president was replaced.
Who pulled the trigger? The activists, says Tom Kenny — yes, the voice of SpongeBob. The lawsuits and the bottom line were likely the real reason.
In June 2003 a Michigan jury ruled that Taco Bell had stiffed the two Grand Rapids guys who pitched Psycho Chihuahua back in 1996.
The number: $30,174,031. With interest: $42 million.
The court record contained one devastating detail — after being sued over the Chihuahua, Taco Bell just kept airing the Chihuahua ads. They didn’t care.
Desperate, Taco Bell turned on its own agency and demanded TBWA pay the bill. The agency needed a hero.
It got an entertainment lawyer named Doug Emhoff.
Yes. That guy.
Emhoff argued his client was just a third party caught in the middle. In January 2009 the Ninth Circuit agreed, unanimously. Taco Bell paid every penny. It was the biggest win of Emhoff’s career, and his reward was waiting.
Four years later, a blind date with the attorney general of California, Kamala Harris.
And so the first Second Gentleman in American history was forged in the fires of a talking Chihuahua.
The 90s never stop giving us wins. And nobody won bigger than the dog.
Gidget’s third act was better than most.
She scored a GEICO spot with the famous gecko. One mascot dynasty passing the torch to the next. Then she played Bruiser’s mom in Legally Blonde 2. She outlived her own case law by six months, dying in July 2009, age 15, after a stroke at her trainer’s home.
THE AD LESSON
Taco Bell actually stole an idea, got caught then paid 42 million for it.
Worse, the idea didn’t really work. They committed the crime and still didn’t get the bag. That’s the whole lesson in one sentence: fame is not a business result.
The dog was the most beloved character in America and the most expensive mistake in company history, all at the same time. Remember, if your mascot is more famous than your food, you haven’t built a brand. You’ve built a pet.
COCKTAIL OF THE WEEK: MEXICAN FIRING SQUAD
The Mexican Firing Squad comes from Charles H. Baker. A professional drinker who ditched his chaperones in Mexico City and wandered into La Cucaracha Bar, run by American bartenders who’d fled Prohibition.
He later wrote it was a creation he “almost became wreck upon.” High praise from a man who drank for a living.
It’s one of the earliest tequila cocktails in English print. The Margarita didn’t show up by name until 1953. This drink was doing tequila before tequila was cool.
One more thing. La Cucaracha’s mascot? A cartoon cockroach. Tux, top hat, cigar. A bar selling Americans a good time through a beloved cartoon animal all sixty years before the Chihuahua. The playbook was right there. The cockroach just never got sued.
THE MEXICAN FIRING SQUAD
2 oz blanco tequila
3/4 oz fresh lime juice
1/2 oz simple syrup
1/4 oz grenadine
3 dashes Angostura bitters
Splash of soda
Shake everything but the soda with ice, strain into a Collins glass over fresh ice, top with the soda. Garnish with a lime wheel, or go full 1937 with an orange slice, pineapple wedge and cherry.
I’d wash it down and marvel at the Avengers style ad to promote The Phantom Menace. featuring Gidget and Colonel Sanders and a girl from Pizza Hut.
Live Más friends.
The Drink Cart is the newsletter version of sitting at a really good bar with someone who thinks too much about advertising and won’t shut up about it. Subscribe to get it on Wednesdays and Fridays.