Kegchup and Other Big Game Crimes.
A Friday newsletter with all the raw charisma of Al Molinaro.
Dear agency readers, Super Bowl ad hype men and appreciators of vintage beer ads.
The Super Bowl ads are really starting to slam us. So let’s throw a few more of the big ones into the cocktail shaker with ice and see what happens.
Michelob ULTRA’s Super Bowl spot “The ULTRA Instructor” puts Kurt Russell on the slopes and into the hands of F1 and Top Gun: Maverick director Joseph Kosinski all to the 80s hum of Eye of the Tiger. It’s rare when a star like Russell gets to flex in an ad and I love this:
“It was a real treat to make my first-ever Super Bowl commercial and doing it with Michelob ULTRA was great,” said Russell. “My character showcases how a coach, or an instructor, can help motivate an athlete to unlock their competitive spirit and achieve victory – whether that’s impressing friends on the slopes to win ULTRA’s or going for Olympic gold.” How was this his first Super Bowl spot? That’s a hate crime.
I love how Ramp is squeezing every last drop out of Brian Baumgartner’s soul as the ‘World’s Most Famous Accountant.’ You can join him and all his clones at a tailgate-style party before the big game. Sounds fun, there better be chilli. But you will feel old when you read that he’ll be joined by, “by influencers like Max Klymenko, Luke Manley, and MD Foodie Boyz.” Okay, when you don’t know who they are talking about, you may be the problem.
How do you lock up Andy Cohen for your big Super Bowl Nerds ad, but you don’t have the ability to get Anderson Cooper as co-pilot, or have him on a couch surrounded by Bravo degenerates. This is a complete waste of everyone’s time.
Because you’re all about to watch another 50 stupid ads trying to go viral over the next 9 days and you deserve a tiny vacation in the form of a very dangerous shot.
THE SEX ON THE BEACH
1 oz vodka
½ oz peach schnapps
Splash of cranberry
Splash of OJ
Shake with ice, strain into a shot glass. Pretend you’re somewhere warm.
1. Heinz Kegchup
Can we be real? 114 oz isn’t even that much ketchup. It’s less than five 750ml bottles of ketchup. I have 40% of that in my house right now. I’m not impressed.
This is a visual gag that exists solely to generate social media impressions. The whole concept assumes that simply mashing two unrelated things together (keg + ketchup) is inherently clever, when really it's just noise competing for attention in an already oversaturated feed.
This actually feels like human made slop now. And I should know. I was out here posting AI images of what a Sydney Sweeney takeover of Twin Peaks could look like. The things I do for this business. I had to sign up and review her new site for “research purposes.” Was nobody going to look at the UX? Just me?
2. Ad History: Miller High Life (1986)
This vintage 1986 gem is so great. The idea of the family run bar who stayed with it and forced the tall buildings to built around it is such a vibe. It's the classic David vs. Goliath narrative that positions Miller as the beer for people with integrity, people who value tradition over easy money.
Compared to kegs of ketchup this is an ad that actually has a point of view about its drinker and what they value. It’s not a cheap ketchup stunt. It respects the audience by associating them with stubborn authenticity rather than just trying to be something mildly cute or attempt to go viral.
3. Ad History: KeyStone (2010)
The Keith Stone Keystone Lite beer ads and character have that pre-AI absurdity that feels more way more original than it probably did 15 years ago. I love a cheap beer doing absolutely wonderful things in ads.
4. Absolut Tabasco
Oh hell yeah, lava Absolut OOH ad. See I can like things.
5. Ad History: Refrigerator Perry & Al Molinaro
Can we just talk about how they paired up William “The Refrigerator” Perry and Happy Days’ Al Molinaro for this 80s gold. (you haven’t lived until you’ve seen him selling the hell out of frozen salisbury steaks or toilet paper). These are electric. I dare advertising to bring us the raw charisma of these two legends in today’s market? I guess that’s Kevin from the office, but I’m not convinced.
And now a word from our sponsor, the opening credits from 1987’s Barfly.
See you next Friday. Keith Stone would be proud of you.
Jackson.
The Drink Cart Friday Shot is your late Friday pick-me-up for pop culture brains and ad junkies. A fast pour of ad insights and hot takes, served like a quick round at your favourite dive bar after a week of client feedback.