It's beginning to look a lot like a Rant-mas.
The only newsletter airing out some festive agency grievances before the eggnog hits.
Dear marketing fans and elves here for the rant-i-days.
Okay, it was bound to happen. I feel like i’m up on Mount Crumpit ready to pounce on any last minute marketing that is cringable before Santa comes down the ole chimney.
So here we are, one more rant before Rant-mas.
Like opening up a present before the big day. Two things bother me about this new San Pellegrino campaign where you can “win a limited-edition 6-pack of S.Pellegrino designed to spark meaningful conversations?” I say this despite actually really enjoying Pellegrino. But there’s a reason that “slop” has been named as one of the words of the year with or without AI.
The first is, that in the year of 2025, they’re still talking about Covid and “experiences that feel more connected.” That was almost six years ago. Surely we don’t need to keep this going in our campaign insights? if that’s the case are we going to be talking about elbows up and not selling bourbon for what? A decade? We’re so cooked.
The second is, do you need your sparkling water to spark conversations? Or maybe more importantly, do you want your sparkling to spark conversations? You are water on the table. Not the night’s sad attempt at entertainment.
Yet according to Strategy’s write up, San Pellegrino is sharing, “real-life, unscripted moments inspired by the bottles, capturing responses from restaurant-goers to queries like ‘Be right or be liked? and ‘What dream have you quietly kept alive?’
The website promises that, “Each bottle features a question designed to peel deeper layers back and grow the connections we already have into more meaningful ones.”
My dream is to not have to endure campaigns like this or have any of my layers peeled back by a sparkling water brand.
And maybe for my heart to grow three sizes. Hallelujah! Where’s the Tylenol? Happy holidays here’s a Victorian Christmas card of two shrimps having tea. Are we absolutely sure AI hasn’t been here all along?
Mega Holiday Bonus Drink Cart Approved™ agency discussion topics
Wonderful news. Blimps are back. There are now seven blimps flying in America. So is Hilary Duff doing holiday ads for Dunkin. We’re so back.
I do really like the Dominos wrapped. And this SNL Uber Eats Wrapped is pretty funny.
People are talking to AI Santa Claus for hours apparently.
I’m down for this David Shrigley made for Apple Skinny Man Christmas Tree.
I’m very pleased that we are now able to normalize putting celebrities behind glass for our amusement.
Gonna need to create this Holiday hot dog. And maybe this Pierogi gingerbread house. You in?
Speaking of gingerbread houses, I would watch a full time feed of the making of very fancy ones like this.
The Keg has turned the Billy Miner Pie into a drink? What? Would.
I don’t know why, but this absolutely sent me. POV If I was Santa.
Fascinated by how people are wanting to prepare for the coming advertising-ification of AI.
Colour nerds: This longer read about why control rooms are always in seafoam green is such a good read.
Okay this Christmas Vacation Snack Board is, “a beauty Clark”.
And lastly, I’m fascinated by some of Pinterest’s 2026 predictions.
Put some AI under the tree?
This is a wild one, so I turned to my favourite AI sidekick, Claude and asked what it thought. Not surprisingly, it captured the meta-question pretty well. “It’s tasteful. But I’m biased. And also the product. Which in holiday marketing terms means it’s fine but forgettable. It’s not going to end up in your rant pile but it’s also not going to make anyone’s ‘best of’ list. So take that with a grain of sparkling water.”
Well played, Claude. Well played, sir.
Brands do not have to do this.
Government brands do not have to do this. No, they shouldn’t be allowed to do this. This post from the Canadian Museum of History and the Canadian War Museum is the worst kind of gimmicky slop you can do.
No if a brand wants to and isn’t a government service, they can do things like Ryan Air. Brands also don’t have to do this. “What if we kissed under the Ranchletoe.”
But Brands can, and should, do more of this.
The small batch eau de parfum brand Ffern releases some very big branded films as the core part of their marketing. They currently have a teaser out for their latest starring Ruth Wilson (who was great in the Apple TV show I just finished, Down Cemetery Road - highly recommend).
And while that is cool, what I really liked was when following on IG, I got a DM instantly and a link to subscribe to potentially gain access to the waiting list despite them selling out six years running.
They now have my phone number. My credit card info. they can DM on IG and text me. I’ve entered a scent draw. And someone named Owen tells me I’ll know on Monday if I won. And by won, that I’m paying $169. Talk about creating a massive amount of good FOMO. The whole UX experience is incredible. I haven’t smelled a thing yet.
Last call: Spiked Holiday Punch
This week calls for cocktail reinforcements. We need a punch. A big one. Easy to make. Easier to drink.
Get Festive With Spiked Holiday Punch :
2 cups cranberry juice
1 cup orange juice
1/2 cup spiced rum
1/4 cup brandy
4–6 tablespoons ginger or regular simple syrup (adjust to taste)
Don’t forget the ice!
1 bottle Prosecco (chilled, added just before serving)
Add 4–5 whole cloves and 3-4 star anise and a even a couple of cinnamon sticks if you’re feeling festive enough.
Add pomegranate arils, rosemary sprigs, blackberries and some cranberries.
And if you’re headed out to your agency office party still, we prepared a handy old time-y memo of things to remember.
The Drink Cart is your weekly fuel for pop culture brains and ad junkies. A cocktail of ad insights and hot takes that feel like you’re hanging at your favourite dive bar after launching your latest campaign.